I have been blessed with the awareness of my guy(d)s. When my grandmother died my junior year of high school, my mother’s family crowed around a ouji board at the foot of her bed. We were looking for solace and peace, with the reassurance that she had crossed over safely. It heralded the Death of my old self and the rebirth of my felt spiritual journey. The last question I asked of the board was, “How many Guides do I have?”
“Six” was the answer that surprised me. That many? I thought. Now, I’ve worked with so many more beautiful energies that six seems a small blip, but at that time, I struggled to feel worthy of so much attention.
Of course, at the time, I didn’t get any names or know who these beings were. But I felt safer, knowing they were there. In recent years, as my conscious mind has been introduced to various light Beings, bells within me have signaled a recognition. Even though I was meeting these people for supposedly the first time, I already knew them.
These are the names of the six who have walked with me my whole life:
- Uriel
- Adama
- Ashtar
- Spider Oversoul/ Unicorn Oversoul
- Obsidian Oversoul
- The Moon
Spider and Unicorn count as the same number because they are the representations of duality that I have worked with. Spider, the shamanic side of the coin of which Unicorn was the flip. Last spring, I lay in bed observing the dream catcher I’ve had since I was 6. The moment I realized it had a piece of obsidian on it, I laughed out loud. Need I explain my connection with the moon, after whom I’ve named myself? Maybe another day I’ll speak on that. Which leaves the first 3.
It’s not that hard to imagine an angel as a guide. People call upon the archangels all the time. And as he has spoken to me, explaining some layers of our connection, it has been easy to see Uriel’s influence in my life. A shining spotlight of joy.
The first time I channeled Adama via writing in my journal, I instantly recognized the voice who had soothed my lonely, angry heart through my senior year of high school. I’m fairly certain he’s the reason I managed to survive that last year of living as a minor.
But Ashtar as my personal guide? Doesn’t he have enough on his plate? That one took some convincing. That one brought up my worthiness issues.
Sure, Adama is freakin’ High Priest of Telos and all that. But he’s my brother. My heart knew I deserved his adoration and support, even if my conscious mind didn’t know it.
Ashtar and I have known each other a couple times. Most recently, he’s shown me a very old existence of mine that allowed for a huge shift in my ability to feel whole. Back then, he really took care of me and I had so much respect for him. It explains why I trusted him so instantly in this lifetime. Why since my conscious mind met him, I have done my best to model my behavior after his. I have done my best to act only honestly and with as much integrity as I can.
Somehow I thought I had to earn Ashtar’s support. If I was a clear enough channel for him, if I channeled him frequently enough….. then maybe he would love me? Clearly, that has more to do with leftover habits from childhood, from trying to earn my father’s praise. Ashtar has told me over and over that he loves me. Always asking, won’t you feel it? won’t you believe me?
Working so hard to earn love only left me feeling tired and disappointed. Who wants to earn love? We just want to be loved. The idea that Ashtar was not only offering to work with me now, but has been with me throughout my entire life, on the merit only of the worthiness of this incarnation, was challenging to accept.
Today, this is what Ashtar said to me:
“While it is true we have known each other in other of your incarnations, what is important in this moment is that you SELENE ASWELL have chosen to trust me ASHTAR SHERAN.
What more is important than that? . . .
You are beautiful, my dear one. I have not forgotten you. I have always watched over you. I have been with you since your conception. It was I who suggested your birth to your parents. I protected you as you were in the womb of your mother, as you toddled through childhood. I watched as you took your first steps, I shielded you from the energies you did not wish to experience in your youth. And when you cried out to be held in your lonely nights, it was I who wrapped myself around you, and soothed you to sleep. Will you remember me, from this current incarnation?”
Imagine me, awed. You see, as he told me that, I remembered each instance. I knew the moments he was talking about. And I recognized his energy there, present throughout my life before I began working to earn his help.
Who can argue with that? My feelings of undeserving faded away. I felt such joy, because that love, those experiences were from THIS life. I feel such gratitude, I cannot begin to describe really.
And honestly, why wouldn’t I deserve Ashtar as my personal guide? Who’s to say he isn’t your personal guide too? We are multidimensional beings! We can be in more than one place in once instance of “time”. Ashtar is able to do his work for all of Humanity and help me as an individual at the same time.
Wow. Thank you Ashtar.
I believe that my work for Ashtar will be so much more pure in the future, since I have worked through these feelings of fear and unworthiness. YAY!
Remember, if you ask for help, you deserve to receive it. No matter how “important” the being is. Things like “important” and “hierarchy” are constructions of the third dimension anyways. Let them go, and lets see where we end up.
