Just lay it all down. . .
Put your face into my neck and let it fall out. . . .

My heart goes out to those of you who are hurting. To those of you around the world, who’s heart aches. Those of you who struggle to breathe under the weight of the world, the weight of being a being of light living in these bodies that sometimes feel like lead.

I know, I know, I know. . . .

I have so much empathy for you all. I love you so much. If you browse through my archives you will see that I have struggled to breathe here too. I have struggled, I have sobbed until there were no tears left, I have raged against the world, and I have fallen into despair. You look at me now, and you see my smile, you see the light that I shine into the world, and you see the great joy that I feel in almost every moment. But do you see where I have come from? The work that I have had to do to get to this point, this wonderful amount of joy?
I was not a happy teenager. I hated myself. I hated my life. I put on my smiles, hung out with my friends, went to church, succeeded in school, and cried myself to sleep at night. I was miserable and didn’t know why. I was lonely. I knew somehow, there was more to life than what  was experiencing. The depth of my heavy emotions was overwhelming. I couldn’t deal with them. So I numbed out. I read ALOT. I watched TV and I threw myself into school.

It would be unfair to blame my turmoil on my childhood and my parents. So I’m not going to do that anymore. It wasn’t until I started my intensive spiritual work that I started to understand the emotions I was feeling. The vast misery within me started to come up, in bits and pieces so that I could look at them, come to understand them, and so, shift them.

You were blessed by a different kind of inner view:
it’s all magnified. 
The highs would make you fly,
and the lows make you want to die. 
And I was once there,
hanging from that very ledge where you are standing. . . .

The first time I realize that my pain came from something greater than just this life, was a few months after I graduated from college, in November 2008. I had experienced some pretty traumatic events, and suddenly, I couldn’t bare it anymore. I couldn’t take it any more. I fell to the floor and started crying:

The weight of the world came crashing down; my shoulders struggle to hold the sky up. I can’t contain my frustration, fear, and anger at the world I find myself in. Hot tears came in buckets. Scenes and thoughts flowing, images of this world. This world. Why am I here? . . .  The pain of the world, squeezing my heart, pushing on my shoulders. . . So, alone. I feel so very alone. The sobs shaking my shoulders couldn’t shake the weight.

An Angel prompts me to lay in child’s pose. I move as guided, spread my knees wide enough to press my forehead into the carpet, arms outstretched. Grateful none of my roommates are home, I unleash all my emotions into this rug, snot and tears streaming down my face. I wail and scream, unloading my burdens, releasing, releasing, releasing. Eventually, my cries fade away, and I’m left, quiet, drained, empty. Lighter. . . (read the rest here)

After I passified myself, I sat with the angels, and reflected on what I had experienced. I knew, quite clearly, that those emotions came from how HARD it is to be here, in this 3D world, living in such a heavy body, limited by fear and pain and skin. Over how many lifetimes have those struggles piled up, leading to this anguish?

I know, I know, I know. . . .
It’s easier to let go. . .

I realized, quite clearly, that I didn’t have to live in the heaviness. I didn’t have to carry the burdens any more! I almost didn’t believe it. Can I really just drop my pain? Isn’t it karma or something?

But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
So we can both be there and we can both share the dark. . .

I have spent the past 3 years focusing on releasing my pain, releasing my fear, releasing trauma and limitation. And gradually, I started to experience more moments of peace, love, and bliss. Almost a year later, there was a moment where I realised, without thinking about it,

“I’m happy to be alive, grateful to be on Earth,” . . . (read the rest here)

I surprised myself, because it was true. I really am happy to be alive. Thank you so much, God, my soul, my guides, my friends, Earth, everyone who has supported me….. I am really actually happy.

Kind of amazing isn’t it?

Of course, I still have bits and pieces of that pain bubble up to the surface, it still hurts, intensely. Just last January, I broke my arm and had to face all of the icky feelings I harbored for my body. But, the moments of bliss are becoming more and more profound, like the time last summer that I actually managed to fathom every person on earth becoming enlightened. Wow. What a moment that was! And, the moments of peace and love are becoming more and more frequent, while the moments of pain, worry, or sadness happen less and less often.

That makes a huge difference in the kind of feelings and experiences I have on a day to day basis.

And now? I get to choose my every experience (so do you!). I have been actively, intentionally choosing what I want. Not only by letting the universe know what I want, loudly (my mate, my family, my home, ascension, and teleportation!!), but by also choosing how I react to the situations that come up. I talk myself through them. Is this a fear reaction? What would be the most loving choice? Are you going to speak your mind or let this go?

I try my best to choose love in every moment, and I get to experience more. I started choosing to love myself.

Why am I bringing all of this up? Because, I know that you can get here too. You can let go of all of the burdens you are carrying and you can come fly with me. I am sending smiles to your heart. It breaks my heart to see any of you in pain. Tears come to my eyes, and my hand to my heart, to send love to the pain I feel there, when I see you in pain. I wish I could scoop you all up, hold you inside my heart and kiss all of your owies. I’d kiss them all better!

But I have grown so much from exploring, releasing, and healing from my pains. I understand that you too are growing and learning and expanding into ever deeper expressions of your Soul. It’s beautiful. It hurts, but it’s beautiful.

Please, please, remember that you are not alone. No matter how alone you feel, you are never, ever alone. You are not the only one feeling what you are feeling. There are so many people who chaife at the chains of what we have previously experienced as life on a 3D Earth to be. But, even that is changing.

Even as you cry, know that I am with you. My heart surrounds you in love. The angels are with you, and even if we are not physically with you, when you cry, know that we are there. We hold you in the gentlest way.

If you ever get to that breaking point, the point where you don’t know where to go, who to turn to or what to do, call out to the Light Beings. Contact me (lightofselene@gmail.com). We walk you through it, help you drop your burdens, and invite in more and more light to your experience of life.

Adama told me that when we ascend soon, we get to keep our bodies. We will experience a lightful physical life. Imagine if the “physical” world were as vibrant as our moments of bliss, all of the time!! That’s what ascension will be like. So, let’s keep swimming together. I will keep you afloat, when you need to rest, if you will just hold me, when I need to cry too.

And in our honesty, together we will rise, 
Out of our nightminds, and into the light. . .